@Smuirf: Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you hear Juan you've heard Jamal.
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@JamesBarretts: Immediately after giving birth to me my mom was charged with crimes against humanity
@notshivi: Everyone prepare yourself for National "How is it May already?" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.
@iluvyogacats: Me: *enters exam room Doctor: Please take off your... M: *unbuttons pants D: ?? M: *pauses* D: GLASSES! D: I'M AN EYE DR DAMNIT!