@favamp: If I were a dinosaur, I'd be a swagasaurus.

@10InchesPlus: "Welcome to the Association Against Acronyms & Abbreviations, your office is this way..." - "We should call it AAAA!" "You're fired."

@i_love_fudge: Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there's a giant dog with a tiny woman in her purse.

@RedheadChaos: Officer, I swear there is a simple explanation.. ~me standing in the street with no pants, one sock and a turkey baster in my hand

@topaz_kell: "Your bathroom has better lighting for selfies" wasn't a good enough excuse for my surprised neighbor getting out of the shower. So uptight.