@daemonic3: Might fornicate around and use a thesaurus
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@Haha_No_Mofo: My doctor told me, "DON'T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
@CheryeDavis: The Police come right away when you tell em your baby is locked in the car... They don't however think it's cute to call your phone baby..
@blainecapatch: whenever god closes a door he opens a window because he's taking a pretty nasty shit in there.
@abbycohenwl: Bring an urn speed dating. Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, "I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?"