@daemonic3: Might fornicate around and use a thesaurus
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@Snarfernini: He said we needed to talk so I screamed 'Who are you & what are you doing in my house?' Long story short, it was his house & his wife is mad
@QwertyJones3: "Doctor, I'm afraid of people yelling letters of the alphabet at me." THERAPIST: Oh! You are? WHY???
@Swishergirl24: The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2014.
@briancthayer: [rap battle] Opponent: *crushes it* Me: Oh, I... umm. I thought this was something else... *hastily hides plastic wrap behind back*