@donni: Might get a Gatorade logo tattoo to symbolize my contempt for thirst.
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@iAmDelFreaky: Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea.
@HellRaisingHell: Finally found a job ad that didn't mention 'attention to detail' or 'team player'. Finally!
@Garblemarble: Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it