@HandyJack420: Miley Cyrus has her tongue out more than Jabba the Hutt.
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@salamingia: I feel bad for airport security workers. I'm going to make their job easier today by not wearing underwear.
@freezingsheep: If I hear a bang when I'm driving I just assume I broke the sound barrier. Not sure where all these dents are coming from though.
@murrman5: wife: its ruining date night me: its ruining date night because you're letting it ruin date night hitchhiker: just drop me off on the corner