@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
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@freypalm: “Welcome to Fight Club,” said the man with the rock hard abs. I looked around, clutching my kite, becoming worried.
@AndrewNadeau0: GENIE:3 wishes ME:Can I wish for more? G:No M:I wish u couldn’t count G:Done. How many do u have left? M:A billion G: M: G:That sounds right
@Parentpains: If you didn't want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
@KyleMcDowell86: [old couple feeding ducks in the park] "Nothing could ruin this Edna" *I scare all the ducks away, punch the old man and steal their bread