@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
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@treydayway: Hell hath no fury like a woman who just said "seriously?" after a comment you made during an argument.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me a strength." I'm a decision maker. "Excellent. How about a weakness?" I'm a bad decision maker.
@Kendragarden: Sometimes I like to freak my husband out by asking where this relationship is going.
@Wuttercuerk: If you're a Mormon, and you have a mom, and you haven't been referring to her exclusively as Mitt Momney...then why the hell are you Mormon?