@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
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@Ivsy01: Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do. Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this.
@TheMichaelRock: Breaking News: Playboy to eliminate nude pictures from their magazine. "What's a magazine?" asked every guy under 30.
@Brampersandon_: INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course