@daemonic3: MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts.
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@Xoolun: A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
@shanethevein: The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
@philco816: Man Maroon 5 just keeps the hits coming . Wife: The radio isn't on. Those are two alley cats in heat. Me: I don't wanna know, know, know.
@rhysjamesy: The Swiss must've been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.