@SocialExtortion: Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
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@TheCatWhisprer: gas pump: do you want a receipt? Y/N me: *presses yes* gas pump: me: *pressing harder* YES gas pump: lol nope
@i_eat_fruit: COP: do you know why I pulled you over ME: knock knock COP: who’s there ME: do you know why I pulled you over COP: *begins to sweat* n..no
@TheTalkingPipe: I read you can have a stroke without displaying any symptoms and I was like "holy shit, I'm definitely not displaying any symptoms!"