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@TeeJayRush: Misery: Hello there!
Company: I have a boyfriend...
@BeerBatterBeard: The lack of paparazzi at this BBQ makes me think that my aunt can probably stop referring to her potato salad as "famous."
@LuckoftheDraw86: I dropped my iPhone under the bed once so I get it, moms that lift cars off their babies, I get it.
@SalaciousSully: Dear Americans: It's called snow. It's cold and wet, but can't hurt you from inside the house. It has no opposable thumbs. #AskCanada
@JermHimselfish: Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can't remember the lyrics.
@KeetPotato: [sex-ed lesson]
now, unroll the condom down over the bana- what is it keith?
"i ate my banana"