@KentWGraham: Misery loves company. And from what I can tell, the company she loves is the one where I work.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AbrasiveGhost: [at wife's funeral] Son: At least shes in heaven now Me: [delicately places hand on his shoulder] You don't know shit about your mom
@AnkCoupleTO: Joining Twitter instead of the circus was a pretty good move considering I'm a freak but not that talented
@crunchenhancer: What's the difference between carbon monoxide and spouses? Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.
@DamienFahey: When a band has Z's where S's should be in their name, I'm like, "Woah, watch out! These bad boys aren't playing by society's rules."