@KentWGraham: Misery loves company. And from what I can tell, the company she loves is the one where I work.
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@stockejock: My mom's favorite part of my birthday is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order.
@thepunningman: Boss: Isn't your new job kind of a [stifling laughter] sideways move? Crab: [to HR person] see this is what I'm talking about
@david8hughes: [pinned down by sniper fire] Squad leader: I'm going in. Hughes, lay down some cover for me Me [putting a blanket on the floor]: you betcha