@TheBoydP: Missed connection: She wanted classy and I thought she said gassy...
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@TheToddWilliams: My doctor won't go away. I know what you're thinking but he has been eating small pieces of apple over many decades to build up an immunity.
@1KelliBelle: Me: promise you won't show anyone? Him: promise *sends pics H: that's pics of fruit snacks M: you said you wanted pics of my goods
@trumpetcake: People always complain that I'm "out there." [On the phone. To the cops. While I'm sitting in their birdbath.]