@TheBoydP: Missed connection: She wanted classy and I thought she said gassy...
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@lloydrang: People who tweet about politics should have to pass a small test: if i say "Oh, look, a dead bird," and you look UP, we take your phone away
@summerofbenny: I have a huge gash in my forehead. I'm going to assume I got up in the middle of the night, fought some crime, and went back to bed.