@NickadooLA: Mitt Romney says that people who are voting for Barack Obama don't work and don't pay taxes. I guess that means Romney is voting for Obama.
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@iamburtjarvis: me: wanna hang out? southern girl: well, dip me in honey butter, roll me around in mississippi sand and saddle a junebug to savannah me:
@histwaddle: Two cans of Red Bull may give you x-ray vision, but five cans give you the ability to hear oxygen.
@chriscr10571: The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's been telling lies." I replied, "Well, tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"
@LurkAtHomeMom: The good news is, it turns out there is literally nothing we can say here that will ruin our chances at a political career.