@NickadooLA: Mitt Romney says that people who are voting for Barack Obama don't work and don't pay taxes. I guess that means Romney is voting for Obama.
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@leechee420: I thought about getting silk sheets to seem sexy, but then I realized nobody would be turned on by me falling out of bed 6 times a night.
@justabloodygame: No one sleeps with Gandalf because it takes him until first light on the fifth day to come.
@Tmoney68: Her: What's your fantasy? Me: Sexy nurse! H: Meet me in the bedroom. [10 minutes later] *we both come in wearing nurse costumes* M: Uh.
@KimmyMonte: Good cop: Ok relax. We are just gonna ask you a few questions Fashion police: Who are you wearing, you piece of shit?