@robdelaney: moisten thyself and wait for me in the westernmost grunting shed
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@Mr_Kapowski: Wife: Where are you going? Me: I'm wearing my robe and boxer briefs so obviously I'm off to fight crime
@BuckyIsotope: I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more Just to be the man who Walked a thousand miles To throw up on your door
@midnightwhale: [police station] "sir you get one phone call." [calls 911] "hello 911 what's your emergency?" yeah a bunch of pricks are holding me hostage.