@tarastrong: "Mom, I hate the word, 'Hemorrhoid'. It's like a weird planet. Hi,I'm Hemorroidian! Or oh no! A hemorrhoid is headed 4 Earth!" -my 12yr old
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@LindseyEllison2: I want to pick up a hitchhiker before I die. Not like right before I die, but you know.
@Slygirl08: *Really attractive person waves at me in their car*-*I wave back enthusiastically*-*realizes they were just putting their visor down*
@iTomFoolery: I mixed coffee with Red Bull, now I can see the invisible things my kitten pounces on.