@Sam19eighty: Mom: I'm worried you might end up alone. nMe: Don't worry mom, do you know how many followers i have???nMom: ... ( Worried face)
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@TitaniumToplass: I jump out of bushes to give surprise breast exams. I save lives. nnThe police are on the lookout for me. Probably to give me an award.
@Jenny4ashley: Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about how when you fall in love, it's best to just kill yourself.
@jonnycarr1974: Him: I'll hold your hair while you throw up Her: *throws up* Him: *throws up in her hair*