@bendreyfuss: “Mom, the dictionaries are fighting again"
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@DaveAhdoot: Tim Cook has announced that he's gay. Samsung just filed a lawsuit claiming they came out of the closet 3 years ago. #Apple
@JimmySelfDest: Fight club. Only naps instead. Rules the same. Just no fights. Only secret, uninterrupted glorious naps.
@MomOfTeen: Not now kids. Mom is racing her rubber duckies in the bathtub and this time I really think Javier is going to win.
@HotSnuff: Guy told me I have "Bambi eyes"...is that even a compliment? Oh god, please don't shoot my mother.