@life_sucker: Momma didn't raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
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@Ideal_Victoria: Me: [Nudges friend] You should see what I just wrote on the bathroom wall. Friend: Uh... You do know we're at my house right?
@RoosterMustache: *i sneeze* Atheist: bless u Me: ha! i caught u Atheist: no its just like, an expression Me:*grabbing him by shoulders* u believe in god
@JohnASinclair: Do you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour? No, sorry we only accept Visa or MasterCard.
@WheelTod: One time I dated a yoga instructor & my buddies said "Man. She must be really flexible!" but I told them "No, she has to work most weekends"