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- bilingual donkey
@WickedRapunzel: Customer: Can someone else serve us?
C:I don't want my children exposed to the sin of your tattoos.
M: Satan wants their tiny souls.
@juliussharpe: At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I'm forty. I have one.
@drayzze: Sorry I broke up with you via interpretive dance.
@chuuew: ME: [spotting Diane across the room] Diane!
ANNE: ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!
@LosLos__: Got home late to a note that said "Wake me up for sex", which I stared at for 10 mins before realizing it was my own handwriting.