@MariyaAlexander: More "kills" on Tinder than any man in the history of online dating, Bradley Cooper is.... American Swiper.
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@MsCassieDaniels: My white girl power is ability to never putting more than $20 worth of gas in at a time.
@TheRealRHB: Whoever first said "No news is good news" never had their cable & Internet go out for two days
@PajamaBen_: "The Sun is dying. We need help" the scientists are speechless. Cool Dad kicks in the door & removes his shades "It's daylight savings time"
@JennyPentland: 10yo: When in doubt, albatrout. Me: What the hell is albatrout? That's not real. 10yo: Now you're in doubt! Me: But… 10yo: ALBATROUT