@iamspacegirl: more like Clifford the Big Red Reason we are Homeless
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@jdforshort: [updating CW's iPhone] M: You need more gigs CW: I don't need no gigs I got a job Having a smart phone doesn't make you smart.
@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that she was sounding like her mother and I realized that was a mistake after I regained consciousness.
@BCMontgo: Then she had the nerve to tell me I had control issues! I'll do this part. *takes scalpel from my surgeon* Surgeon: You should be asleep.