@TeachersHot: Morning wood makes the best fire.
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@texasstalkermom: How many beer trucks can you "accidentally" run into before your insurance company becomes suspicious?
@ruinedpicnic: J.K. Rowling: "Theres actually a goat with Harry Potter the entire time, its just never mentioned or does anything."
@AristotlesNZ: Me: There's a real fat one on the other team! Her: "My son's not fat!" How you know I was talking about him? "Cuz he's the.." Fat one? "Ya."