@TeachersHot: Morning wood makes the best fire.
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@BrettDruck: Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work because the dog just goes "Cool, now we're both barking!"
@mbnels: Tech guy says: "When in doubt reboot. " Okay, I've rebooted but i still don't see how my boots have ANYTHING to do with a computer.
@fro_vo: [watching wonder woman] *wonder woman comes onscreen* Me: (leans over to date) that's wonder wo-*date throat punches me*
@Mirimade: I don’t give my children “chores”. I give them “missions” and that change in the name has made my whole life easier.