@TeachersHot: Morning wood makes the best fire.
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@SimplyEffortful: My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked dinner. Me: ooo!! Can we get one?
@ShittyComedian: The joke's on you officer. That breathalyzer won't tell you how much cocaine I've snorted tonight.
@Aspersioncast: Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?
@jennfer46: Husband wanted me to go hunting today. He bought me the cutest brown outfit and a cute lil hat, you know with the fake antl..wait a minute