@FUN: Most laughs that you hear on TV shows today, were recorded in the 1950's. Means, technically, you're likely hearing dead people laughing.
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@KalvinMacleod: [Speech Therapy] Therapist: Repeat after me: I’m thirsty Dad: I’m…thirsty T: I’m hungry D: I’m…H...Hi Hungry, I’m Dad T: *throws clipboard*
@Jack_Wagon1: Sometimes when I get a retweet... I blow on my phone, twirl it and slide it into my belt holster, then ride off into the sunset like a dork.
@KKAlThani: When I'm at a friend's house & there are snacks, all I'm thinking is "How do I eat everything without looking like a homeless person?"