@FUN: Most laughs that you hear on TV shows today, were recorded in the 1950's. Means, technically, you're likely hearing dead people laughing.
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@Just_Oh_Susanna: I just want to look as good as Madonna does now when I've also been dead for 27yrs.
@SteveSuckington: Good call inventor of glass tables. There's nothing more appetizing than realizing Aunt Mildred doesn't wear panties while I'm trying to eat
@LoneWolfStories: Her: Let's go shopping. Me: In your dreams. Her: The boutique has Wi-Fi. Me: Why are we still here?
@SocialExtortion: How to pick up women: 1-approach beautiful lady 2-bend at the knees 3-lift gently 4-oh god she's screaming 5-put her down the cops are here