@QwertyJones3: Most people don't even know that New York was attacked by the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man in the 80's. I saw a documentary about it.
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@bingowings14: As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
@DurtMcHurtt: I'm walking on sunshine, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and I'm startin' to feel AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS TERRIBLE
@TheTweetOfGod: "Al-Qaeda: 'ISIS Goes Too Far'." Ah the Middle East, where al-Qaeda is the voice of moderation.
@iRandumbs: If I learned anything from Forest Gump it's that people who love to run are retarded.