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@TylerComeOn: Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10.
It's simple meth.
@zachreinert03: I hate "save the date" engagement cards. After divorce you should have to send out "hey forget about that one date 6 months ago" cards
@MarlonBrandNO: I studied abroad for a year. But she got really creeped out and moved away.
@brucepoontip: If someone sees you accidentally bite into plastic fruit, commit. don’t show weakness. eat all of it
@pixelatedboat: 11.45: Arrived at crime scene
11.45: Examined body. Signs of a struggle
11.45: Found murder weapon in drain
11.45: Realised watch was broken
@angibangie: The last time my heart beat this fast I was at my boyfriend's parent's house and the toilet water was rising...
-My best pickup line