@SeanINCypress: Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive.
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@pmclellan: To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.
@Jesssicle: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and I'm like "Get outta here boys! I didn't get this chubby by sharing my milkshakes!"
@TattleTSister: I can never understand why people act surprised when horrible things happen. Where have you been since birth?
@Ilovelamp1979: One of the worst things about tweeting while driving is all of the people that seem to appear out of nowhere on the sidewalk.