@realHamOnWry: Mrs.Potato seemed genuinely upset that her husband was missing, but the smell of French fries in her kitchen made the detectives suspicious.
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@LuvPug: I yelled "STOP EATING CAT TURDS OR IT WILL HURT WHEN YOU POOP!" & my dog stopped eating, so if you need a motivational speaker contact me
@SortaBad: A $7 voucher at the airport is like having 100 skeeball tickets at Chuck E Cheese: it sounds good on paper but won't get you anything decent
@TheDairylandDon: No rule against wearing an old Halloween costume to Thanksgiving. Let your racist uncle talk presidential politics with Donkey from Shrek.
@ShanaRose21: Telling someone "You are not alone" can be either extremely comforting or absolutely creepy depending on the context.