@GroperCleveland: MTV has ordered a reality show to follow a group of virgins. That sounds very interesting and riveting and get that camera out of my face.
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@thatUPSdude: HR: What are some of your strengths? Me: Shifting the blame HR: That's a horrible reply Me: No, your question was! HR: Wow, you're good!
@SirEviscerate: [Airport terminal] *waits at baggage claim area* *an entire roast pig emerges on the carousel* *I check the tag to make sure it's mine*