@IncrediblyRich: Mufasa means King. So their parents literally named their sons King and Garbage. No wonder Scar wanted everyone dead.
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@MarfSalvador: [Valentine's Day] Me: I got you a bunch of flowers GF: Thanks Me: There were loads just by the roadside. Got you a teddy and a candle too
@SortaBad: "Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows
@HairyJew4Life: Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend? When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.
@mrjohndarby: My family gather round while the lawyer quietly reads my will. He hands out 1 hot dog each and when they finish eating he asks them to leave