@upsidedowntrash: [Mulder softly whispering "I want to" at every exhibit in the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum.]
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@3sunzzz: Waiter: May I take your order? Yes, roll over and play dead! Waiter: It's not that kind of order. Oh. Sorry. I'll have the cheese sticks.
@Baxterbix: Woke up with a hangover to the sound of my neighbor cutting the grass. He can cut around me, I'm not movin'.
@Jenny4ashley: I almost drowned trying to swim today. The security guard didn't even care he just told me to get the hell out of the mall fountain.
@junejuly12: Keep microwaving fish in the office and stop wondering why you never get a desk by the windows.