@sophie_gadd: mumsnet is amazing
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@SatansTongue: *at church* "Does anyone have anything else for the offering basket?" Ｉ ＯＦＦＥＲ ＭＹ ＦＩＲＳＴ ＢＯＲＮ ＣＨＩＬＤ "Jim no"
@CopernicusG: ME: sorry for the hold-up TELLER: but you didn't make me wait? ME: *pulling a gun* haha no I'm Canadian
@MacAnnabella: "You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie