@sophie_gadd: mumsnet is amazing
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@poutycorpse: create password... OVERRATEDLIAMNEESONMOVIE This password is taken REALLYOVERATEDLIAMNEESONMOVIE This password is taken too
@Rollmaninoz: Cop: *with my license* says here you're supposed to wear glasses Me: I have contacts Cop: I don't care who you know, put your glasses on
@ferranticathy: Bored, go into a fitting room wait a couple minutes then yell, "where's the toilet paper"
@QueenofSparta: Him: I like nerds Me: So if a train is going at ten miles an hour west, and another train is travelling 50 miles an.. Him: not like that