@illiter8too: Murder is justifiable if it's against a person who calls you and hands their phone off to another person with whom you didn't wish to speak.
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@sad_tree: *sends signal to space 24/7 that just says Updog* *aliens respond* Alien: Whats Updog? NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there
@NicestHippo: BEAR JUDGE: Counsel, this is your last warning, you cannot-- LAWYER: *plays dead* BEAR JUDGE: Where did he go
@InternetHippo: [thoughts of person talking to me]: He's furrowing his brow, he must really be listening! [my brain]: How do cows make cheese