@TheTweetOfGod: NEW EXPRESSIONS
"Kanye bless you."
"Kanye damn it!"
"One nation, under Kanye."
"Thank Kanye Almighty!"
"The Kanyefather, Part II"
@sixthformpoet: If you watch Twitter backwards, it's about millions of socially-awkward people gradually learning how to survive in the real world.
@BuckyIsotope: Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Keep your frenemies in a dark basement filled with bees.
@ranndrew: "How'd the date go?"
Not good. Too many red flags.
*Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags*
I think she might be a communist.
@thatUPSdude: Me: Want some of my nachos?
Coworker: I don't like nachos.
Me: Hello 911, what's consider premeditated murder?
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