@TheCiscoKidder: My 3 year old reported seeing a spider-cricket and I couldn't find it so we're outside watching the house burn.
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@tigersgoroooar: Online guy: wanna chat I’m 9 inches Me: i’m 5′8′‘ you would barely reach the middle of my shin how could we hold hands on our wedding day
@XplodingUnicorn: My 3-year-old told me she covered the house in "fairy dust" She better mean cocaine because if it's glitter somebody's going to be homeless
@minnie_in_pink7: The most realistic thing about Stranger Things is how much time kids in the 80s spent without parental supervision.
@DosieDoe: I really don't have much respect for those that take drugs and alcohol. Like Customs, for example.