@TheCiscoKidder: My 3 year old reported seeing a spider-cricket and I couldn't find it so we're outside watching the house burn.
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@carlyken: Okay kids don't ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger's houses except on the day we worship the devil.
@TheMichaelRock: You can now take small knives with you on planes, but my 4oz bottle of mouth wash is dangerous. Got it!
@eddiesnextwife: My ice maker broke and now I have to make ice, in trays. I'll be on Pinterest looking for a recipe.
@BarebakAssassin: Most problems can be solved by pouring a concrete slab over the person causing the problems.