@maughammom: My 3yo said Cheese is her favorite place. I don't know if I should be worried that she thinks cheese is a place or sad because it's not.
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@semple42: I really dislike my CW, so everyday I steal a Kleenex from her desk. In about 500 days, she's gonna be pissed.
@Amusitr0n: It's freedom of expression. Grocery Store Manager: sir you were holding a potato in a tiny cage and threatening the store potatoes
@P_o_n_k: BEAR: You tryna fight, bro? SHARK: Just name a place BEAR: Parking lot. 4 o' clock. Come alone SHARK: Like...like an underwater parking lot?
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "You have lost a lot of blood." Me: "That's not good." Doctor: "It's not. You are the worst manager this blood bank has ever seen."