@tararose711: My 3yo's bedtime stories include: "Three-Hour Run-On Sentence," followed by, "Ask For a Drink 500 Times," and finally, "You Skipped a Page."
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@Matt_The_1st: Me: "Hey doc, what's that condition where you wake up and everything hurts?" Doctor: "40"
@ArinLeeMorris: In the near future, little old ladies won't know how to sew, knit, or quilt, but they'll take awesome self-pics in bathroom mirrors.
@DepecheALAmode: If I owned a bar I would pour myself shots all the time, look in the mirror, wink and say "It's on the house."