@tararose711: My 3yo's bedtime stories include: "Three-Hour Run-On Sentence," followed by, "Ask For a Drink 500 Times," and finally, "You Skipped a Page."
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@julie2288: The hardest part of raising kids is learning to let them go... Especially when they're 19 and STILL can't remember to flush a toilet.
@carlyken: When it comes to politics I'm an agnostic. I don't believe there's an honest politician nor can I prove that one does not exist.
@spiritusloquens: My fortune cookie: "Like a hair on a bar of soap, you're likely harmless, but regarded as disgusting and nobody likes you..."
@Ideal_Victoria: I really hope that people are staring at me because they think I'm pretty and not because I slipped on ice and into a parked car.