@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old said he wants to go to JFK for some chicken. He won't be majoring in history.
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@patnspankme: I haven't been this confused about what's going on since The Cranberries yodeled that one song about zombies.
@CrackYouWhip: Based on the rate of sagging pants, it is predicted that by 2017, people will just pull their pants behind them with a rope.
@AndyAsAdjective: [team dumps Gatorade on head coach after victory but head coach just happens to be the Wicked Witch of the West] COACH: you idiots *melts*
@ojedge: Van Gogh: "Dude, I saw this hella vase of sunflowers today." Gauguin: "Pics, or it didn't happen." [van gogh pulls out oil paints & easel]