@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old said he wants to go to JFK for some chicken. He won't be majoring in history.
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@brandynwiththey: I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off.
@otaaee: i asked my 8 yr old sister what she wanted to b when she grew up & she said “i actually dnt wanna b anything”. & when i asked her why not she said “its too much work”. i never felt anything on a spiritual level more than that right there
@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy, how do you spell Budweiser?" "Uhhh....why?" "I'm drawing a picture of you for school." "Cool! It's spelled G-A-T-O-R-A-D-E."
@jessokfine: I learned all my flirting from lizards so I just do a bunch of really fast pushups when I see a cute lizard.