@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old said he wants to go to JFK for some chicken. He won't be majoring in history.
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@NickBossRoss: When people say they want to give a voice to the voiceless I say like a ventriloquist?
@heykarlin: Gotta be tough for the guy somewhere who has to say "yeah, she left me for Charles Manson."
@Kyle_Lippert: Fun fact: the person who said "If you love something let it go" died alone, surrounded by 342 cats.
@Nickadoo: Princess Peach has been kidnapped so often, I'm beginning to think she might be Liam Neeson's daughter.