@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
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@KellyMeldrum: I'm not usually vengeful, but when I am it's because someone gave my kid a whistle.
@OutOfLeftField_: I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."
@TheGladStork: Computer: Do you trust this device? Me: Why? Is there something you're not telling me?