@UncleDuke1969: Mrs. Potato Head: OH MY GOD!
Mr. Potato Head: What?
Mrs. PH: Your browser history.
Mr. PH: I can explain!
Mrs. PH: TATER TOTS YOU PERVERT?!?
@SamGrittner: DETECTIVE: Are you the new chalk outline guy?
ME: Yes I am
DETECTIVE: Stick to the bodies, no more thought bubbles with spaghetti inside them
ME: Eve-
DETECTIVE: Yes, even if they were thinking about spaghetti
@behindyourback: I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use "sliced bread" as our basis for great inventions.
@BuckyIsotope: I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out.
@mulliganstewed: As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime.
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