@House_Feminist: My 5 year old is stuck inside a duvet cover right now so I think I'm going to go for a walk and just let Darwin solve this one.
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@_sshaikhh: Kids born in the years 2000 and after will never know the struggle of learning their birthdays in French like we did 2000: deux mille 2001: deux mille un 1997: mille neuf cent quatre-vingt dix-sept
@totmessmom: We really need to stop with the cute names for devastating storms. Winter Storm Voldemort would be taken much more seriously.
@mattsurely: [couch shopping] Wife: Eh, you married to it? *a bead of sweat trickles down my brow as I hope she doesn't notices the couch's wedding ring*
@Jarhead44: My ex just followed me on Twitter. That said: "Say hello to Hitler for me, Mary." *BLOCKED*