@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
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@hyperblastchic: Me singing: Then I saw her face!! Now I'm a Beliber! Not a trace of doubt in my mind! Roommate: You DO know that's a guy...right?
@iwearaonesie: [Jurassic Park] kid: What do you call a blind dinosaur? me: What? kid: Do-you-think-he-saurus me *pushes him out of the tree*