@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
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@thegreatnanak: Me: if you tell me how many cookies are in this jar, you can have them all. She: you ate them all didn't you? Me: and we have a winner.
@Tmoney68: BREAKING: Hobbit director Peter Jackson's next huge undertaking to be 3-part movie series of The Cheesecake Factory menu.
@RobElliottComic: 911: What's your emergency? Me: I need several Ambuli stat! 911: Ambuli? Me: Yea plural for Ambulance 911: No its not Me: It should be