@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
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@Phook75: If Thomas Jefferson was alive today people would scream "What the hell? You're almost 300 years old!"
@Reverend_Scott: Have you decided on dinner? "Yes, I'll have the chicken, grilled." Very good. *hears waiter yelling at chicken* WHERE WERE YOU LAST TUESDAY
@theroneman: [mom sneaks up & scares son; ruins coloring] Narrator: Does this happen to u? Then u need... [cut to mom jumping on 1 foot & yelling] Legos
@TellingTellers: An interrogator that just goes into the room and loudly eats a peach until the suspect confesses to everything.