@ElleAys: My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I'm fearful of her college days.
@littlelady899: But were you called "dream wife" on the internet today?
Oh, you were. By the same guy? I see.
@trevso_electric: Sir. Your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
@DanMentos: uh oh
@missmayn: Him: Mm girl, back that ass up.
Me: Like on iCloud or something?
@JamesHavoc: Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away.