@WGladstone: My 6 yr old asked me if "satire" is like a "flat tire." I told him no. People know how to handle a flat tire.
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@PhuckinCody: ME: hey did u get my letter? HER: No ME: weird, my carrier penguin should've made it by now HER: You mean carrier pigeon? ME: lol what
@Samiam556: Walks you into the bedroom. Stands you up straight against the wall. *you notice the sign that says "You must be this tall to ride this guy"
@burrowed_deep: A guy just beeped for me to move from my parking spot and now I’ll be live tweeting from this spot for 3 more hours.
@iamspacegirl: *standing over your shoulder while you read a book I recommended* You arent laughing I usually laugh at this part why do you hate it so much