@nicfit75: My 8yo's looking for a summer job. He's a pretty decent bartender if anyone's hiring.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@darkmatter_wimp: At the club, a 6'1" girl was crying in my lap. I just kept petting her hair, pretending she was a sad giraffe. Win-win.
@AndyRichter: My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place
@trentistweeting: [playing limbo at Gary's house] GARY: how low can you go? *i sleep with Gary's wife* GARY: wow, that is pretty low