@Awesomemom10: My 9yo son just gave me a hug and told me thank you for not naming him Dick.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: What happens when you die? Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?
@TheAlexNevil: "The rules are quite simple, Mr Bond: I think of a word, you guess letters in that word. If you guess wrong I draw a picture a man hanging."
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "I need to draw some blood." Me: "Okay." Doctor: "Do you have a red crayon I could borrow?"