@Awesomemom10: My 9yo son just gave me a hug and told me thank you for not naming him Dick.
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@FunnyMojoJojo: I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek...
@tehaveragejoel: things I'm passionate about: The Rule of Threes, self referential humor, and the Oxford comma.
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Please wait to eat your Craisins until we're in the car *5 secs later Me: What're you eating? 5yo: *Mouthful of Craisins* ......Nothing
@curlycomedy: At a restaurant I thought a family was praying at the table but then I realized they were all texting.