@Awesomemom10: My 9yo son just gave me a hug and told me thank you for not naming him Dick.
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@Douchekevin: You'll know when it hits 0 degrees because all the Canadians will be wearing shorts, playing frisbee and BBQing outside.
@stephenjmolloy: CEO of KFC: "We must always respect our customers. That is so important." Ian: "Shall we still serve them food in a bucket?" CEO: "Yes."
@EndhooS: [Last supper] Jesus: Same time next week guys? *they all nod* Judas: I'll book a table for 12 Jesus: you mean 13 Judas: yeah..13, I meant 13