@kumailn: "My advice to you: subtlety." - The Joker, to Trump
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@knotta_tardfan: I tried driving today without texting, eating or getting high but it was so boring I fell asleep at the wheel. Thanks, Oprah.
@bluetractor: I hate it when people call me judgemental Especially people wearing shoes like that
@Bob_Janke: My cat sat up from a dead sleep and stared, frantic toward the empty basement laundry room so I guess I'll be buying a new house now.
@5hael: *smashes car through your living room* Fancy meeting you here, have you been getting my text messages?