@slaughthie: My anaconda don't want none unless you got a suitable living environment for him, a terrarium with a heat lamp, some small rodents, etc.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ClichedOut: [campfire] Me: (flashlight to face) "af" didn't exist. Millennials: (gasp) Me: We had to use "adverbs." (one faints)
@nicfit75: Considering "natural" childbirth? You wouldn't have a tooth pulled without painkillers, right? This is an 8lb tooth. From your crotch.
@murrman5: *texts son "dont say me" as wife heads to his bedroom* wife to son: why did you put next years date on your science paper about time travel?