@slaughthie: My anaconda don't want none unless you got a suitable living environment for him, a terrarium with a heat lamp, some small rodents, etc.
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@DaddyJew: Judging by this line at Costco it doesn't look like I'll ever see my family again. Sweet.
@BarryVonAwesome: Do you know who REALLY gets irony? Skydiving schools. Cuz you gotta drop out to graduate! *releases mic to float down on tiny parachute*
@Book_Krazy: [Gym] Hello ladies, and welcome to Body By Jake! Me: "Jake?" *i discreetly shove the cake I brought into my bag & back out of the room*