@Darchstar078: My bank called me today to alert me my card was used for a gym membership and they doubted it was legit because they see where I go to eat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sal0630: Sorry I pissed on the walls of your bathroom, but the flowery wall paper made me think I was outside.. Also you're out of Valium
@hazelmotes1: Don't judge. Maybe I'm conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don't know.
@knot_eye: Her: I bet you forgot it. Him: I have a photographic memory. [shakes violently] Her: ? Him: Sorry, it's a Polaroid. Is it Becky? Her: NO
@stereoskyline: Procrastination has taught me how to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes.