@Darchstar078: My bank called me today to alert me my card was used for a gym membership and they doubted it was legit because they see where I go to eat.
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@crunkdumpster: Give a man a fish and he'll be like, "Dude I'm allergic to fish." TEACH a man to fish and he'll be like, "THTOP I THAID IM ALLERGIC TO FITH"
@SortaBad: If you watch Sleeping Beauty backwards it's about a prince who was so charming he kissed his girlfriend and she fainted for 17 years
@Brentweets: Speed 3: Waitress has to keep talking about the day's specials or the entire restaurant explodes.