@Darchstar078: My bank called me today to alert me my card was used for a gym membership and they doubted it was legit because they see where I go to eat.
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@boring_as_heck: You're a loose cannon, Detective. Hand in your badge. AND your gun. AND your badge that is actually a gun. AND your gun that shoots badges.
@joejwest: [beach] [a foot washes up] [next, a boot] [I combine them] [more parts arrive] [I keep building] [I stand back] ME: Oh no..you?! HITLER: Yep
@tastefactory: [at subway] And just a little lettuce. *the guy starts backing a truck full of lettuce toward my sandwich & the truck is beeping* No wait.