@Darchstar078: My bank called me today to alert me my card was used for a gym membership and they doubted it was legit because they see where I go to eat.
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@Black__Elvis: I'm sick and tired of all these goddamn illegal aliens taking jobs away from good, hard-working American aliens.
@WowItsStephen: "I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy" is my favorite lyric about murdering law enforcement officials in moderation.
@jordan_stratton: Oh, man. My grandma caught me texting my OTHER grandma and now things are super tense.