@Darchstar078: My bank called me today to alert me my card was used for a gym membership and they doubted it was legit because they see where I go to eat.
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@mattsurely: My favorite sex position? Boy there's so many to choose from. Ha Ha. *starts sweating* I'd have to pick, um, reverse...shortstop? I gotta go
@TheAlexNevil: Me: How's it look? Doc: You have 2 months to live M: WHAT?? You're my dentist! D: Then you don't need to come back for a cleaning in 6 mos
@Stellacopter: If you wrap yourself up in a blanket, you can show up to work late and say you were just rescued by the Coast Guard.