@jackmackenroth: My bank says my password isn't strong enough. Did it ever stop and think that my password has a lot going on right now?
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@MariyaAlexander: [trying to make friends as an adult] May I interest you in tolerating me for a moment
@fro_vo: Interviewer: your resume says you were a waiter Me: yes that's right Interviewer: where at Me: out in the lobby right before this interview
@djdarrellripley: Him: Hey, you really think that doing all those shots are going to make you forget that you got fired? Me: I got fired?