@jackmackenroth: My bank says my password isn't strong enough. Did it ever stop and think that my password has a lot going on right now?
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@alexwyse: Since it's impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.
@carlyken: [interview at winery] What strengths do you bring to the job? *long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now