@jackmackenroth: My bank says my password isn't strong enough. Did it ever stop and think that my password has a lot going on right now?
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@jwoodham: Can't wait to say "I haven't seen you since last year!" to everyone I see next week. I'm a very popular person with thousands of friends.
@outsmartedmommy: The best way to prepare for Motherhood is to put Dora on TV for 9 months, set your alarm for every 45 minutes and throw food on your floors.
@hilaryfairie: I keep hearing "Just be yourself" from everyone. I didn't realize so many people want me to go to prison :(
@Rollmaninoz: *KFC* Me: how tender is the chicken? Employee: [points to chicken crying watching the notebook]