@PetrickSara: My birth control is my 5yo running around in circles at 5am screaming "I have so much energy! I have so much energy! I have so much energy!"
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@Parker_Simpson: Studies show that people who start a sentence with "studies show..." have no clue what they're talking about
@tartadepollo: I asked this homeless lady if I could take her home. She said yes, so I walked off with her cardboard box.
@WildeThingy: Having survived numerous mysterious strangers attempting to kill him as a child, Hitler swore revenge on a cruel world.
@MomOfTeen: Not now kids. Mom is racing her rubber duckies in the bathtub and this time I really think Javier is going to win.