@AndyRichter: My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place
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@JimmerThatisAll: The problem with Chinese food is an hour later you feel like hacking the Pentagon again.
@bathflyer: A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: STATUS: Using the flashlight on my phone to look for the keys that are in my hand so I can open my car cuz I think I left my phone in there.