@AndyRichter: My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place
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@Jeff_G_Nixon: "Ha-ha who me? Oh, I put ketchup on everything!" CAR SALESMAN: please stop putting ketchup on these Buicks.
@SummerCandyEyes: I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat.
@JohnLyonTweets: C'mon, when have I ever let you down? That was rhetorical, actually. Yes, that is a lot. Wow, did not expect you to bring out a chalkboard.