@onedumbshark: My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away.
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@farahfergie: The Cheesecake Factory had a "Help Wanted" sign. I was really disappointed that it wasn't to help eat the cheesecake. #FluffyChickProblems
@just1fool: Coworker:I'll take care if it. *Translation* You're gonna take care of it. You just don't know it yet.
@Sean_Burgundy_: I always try to hold in my sneezes so I don't give someone a reason to talk to me