@onedumbshark: My bologna has a first name, and a second name, and a fake name, and a sexy nickname, and exactly none of them are your business so go away.
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@SteveSuckington: Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
@bombsydoll: [at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first
@KevinFarzad: MATH Q: 5 friends wanna split a $50 dinner. But Josh wants a separate check bc his thing was $2 less. Really, Josh? This is y nobody likes u